You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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