omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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