HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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