Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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