Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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