I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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