it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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