Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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