Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize