I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
