do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
