he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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