You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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