no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
