somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
