WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
