Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
