I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
