Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
