the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
