And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
