There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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