Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
We left the knife in your bed.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Just pee around me
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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