You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
im six kinds of drunk right now
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
