is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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