I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
