I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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