so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
