I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
