Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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