I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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