Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
