just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
