Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
