she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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