Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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