OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
