4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
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