So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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