Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
