ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
