my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
