She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
