he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
