Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
