You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
