You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
