She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
