We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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