I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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