I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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