So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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