I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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