No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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