I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
