Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
