Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
