imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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