Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I have peed in a lot of sinks
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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