loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I smell like Dick and happiness
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
