We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
