How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
